Are you tired of listening to the abusive self talk in your head? Are you ready to silence the voice that holds you back and ruins your self esteem?
In this video below I am sharing my top techniques for silencing that self talk so you can move forward with confidence and self love and divorce.
This video is in my private FB Group with over 11,000 members supporting and loving each other – so if you haven’t already, now is the time to join.
Stop That Inner Critic From Holding You Back After Divorce.
I can’t tell you how often I work with clients who haven’t been able to move on after their divorce because of the shit talk in their head.
Do any of these situations sound like you?
- You’re about to go out and meet new people. You get there and start to panic. You hear yourself saying things like “ I’m not interesting, they won’t like me”; “I never know what to say at these things”; “I’m going to make a fool of myself”.
- You’re having a tough day about your divorce and you lay in bed and hear yourself say “what the hell is wrong with me I can’t get over this faster” or “I’m so weak, no one takes this long to move on”; “I’m such a failure as a wife and at getting over this”
- Or you are going for a job interview and you panic when you hear yourself say “they’ll think I’m a fraud’; who am I to think I can get this job”; “I don’t have a clue what I’m doing”
- Or how about you yell at your child for something innocent and immediately berate yourself with thoughts like “I’m so stupid, he didn’t deserve that”; “I’m too emotional and angry”; “I never handle things right”.
These thoughts are your inner critic and they can be harmful and disabling as you try to move forward after divorce. This critic can cause you to withdraw and hold back from taking action. It can paralyze you from taking the steps you need to move forward. It affects your self confidence and picks you apart. It increases your anxiety. It takes away the enjoyment of your successes. And that includes your successes of moving forward after divorce.
The most damaging aspect of the inner critic is that it erodes your self love. It reinforces any programming from your childhood that makes you believe you’re not worthy. And love for yourself is absolutely critical for every single part of your life. So if you do nothing else for your healing, do this – silence the inner critic.
Here’s the difference with the work I do. You do not need to analyze that inner critic. Some forms of therapy have you talking about the root of it over and over. I tried that personally myself. I was exhausted thinking about why I was the way I was. And guess what it did nothing to help me. Analyzing opens you up to overthinking and reliving emotions attached to the events that caused your inner criticism in the first place. This can get you stuck in a negative cycle. So I never spend hours analyzing with my clients. The only thing we need to do for powerful healing is bring the subconscious thoughts or emotions to awareness.
Also, trying to shut it down won’t work. When I say to you I demand you do not think of a white elephant right now. What do you do? Think of a white elephant. In the same way you can’t say to yourself, stop saying that. Don’t think that. It won’t work.
Because sometimes these thoughts and emotions are a subconscious whisper that creates symptoms. My work is to bring the subconscious to awareness so we can reprogram it and have you moving on with confidence and excitement.
For more videos and free content on this powerful work, head over to my group and join today.
3 POWERFUL METHODS FOR
SILENCING THE INNER CRITIC
Observation alone will lessen the impact of the inner critic. When you remove yourself from your thoughts and observe them from a distance, they automatically hold less strength. Adopting that process alone can be life changing. Observe and record the current inner critic. You must do this work with compassion and no judgement. We all have an inner critic. It’s simply programming from our childhood. So you don’t need to judge yourself for it. It’s part of being human. Be proud of yourself for working through it now.
Once you have observed this inner critic you have 3 techniques on how to silence it. Pick the one that feels good for you or play around with each one and see which one helps you the most.
1. SELF DISCIPLINING
Challenge the inner critic by personalizing it. To do so, simply change the word “YOU”, to “I” in your mind when you hear yourself berating you. When you own the message, with “I”, you are empowered. You know you can change it. And it takes the sting out of it. When the inner critic uses YOU, you become a passive victim of it and that makes it a problem. Seeing it outside of yourself gives it the ability to take aim at you. When you connect to the fact that it is you that’s saying the critical things, you have the power to change them.
You’re not fighting it or disputing. You recognize it as a sound in you head. You own it and explore it. And that’s what eliminates it’s power.
2. MAKING AN ALLIANCE
This technique entails saying “ok I’m here and I’m listening and I will try to understand”. Versus when you ignore it or try to push it away and it gets stronger. You embrace the inner critic here and take out what’s useful. Simply, you are ending the war with it and forming a different kind of relationship with it. In this technique, you ask “what’s the positive intention behind the voice?” You begin to question what you can learn or do differently from the talk in your head. So for example, if you critically say to yourself, “you’re terrible at making small talk”, explore how you would like to build confidence in your ability to meet new people. Assume that the inner critic has your best interest at heart. This makes it less personal and can lead to growth.
3. SEPARATE AND QUESTION
In this technique you label the inner critic in order to disassociate yourself from it. Label the voice. Disassociate from it and move on. The name could be inner critic. “My inner critic says I’m going to fail”. When you become an observer and label that critic, you have an opportunity to step back and question the truth of that. It gives you space to not believe it emotionally as soon as you hear it. Write down what your inner critic says about you. In this way “my inner critic says I always fail”. Then provide the critical mind examples of times you did not fail. Giving the inner critic evidence that it’s words are not true will silence and release it.
You are so much more than the words in your head. Those words have the power to hold you back from the living the incredible life you deserve after divorce. Now is the time to silence all that doesn’t serve you.
Dianah Johnson is a writer, mentor, and Certified Life Coach. With her training in Hypnosis, Neurolinguistic Programming, and Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Dianah created the Rapid Reprogramming Technique(RRT). A powerful technique that helps women release the programming keeping them stuck and in pain after divorce. Dianah has helped hundreds of divorced women heal old wounds, rediscover and love themselves deeply, and create an incredible future with clarity and confidence. Learn more at www.dianahjohnsoncoaching.com
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