To Know You is to Love You.
During and after a divorce you will often be given advice to spend time with friends and family, exercise, spend time in nature, do lots of self care, cry it out and so much more. And these are indeed all important. But true healing, the kind that transforms the next stage of your life, requires something deeper. It requires you to know yourself at a deep level and take action based on this awareness. Often after heartbreak, you wonder who the heck you are without that person. You’ve lost yourself so much along the way, you don’t even know where or how to begin to feel better on a deeper level.
I’ve been there. Shortly after my divorce I found myself completely lost on how to move forward. I knew I wanted more for myself and my life and that the pain of relationship loss could be the catalyst for change. Even in the midst of pain I knew it could be my turning point of transformation if I let it. So I set out to create a life I could be in love with. Problem is, I had no idea what that life could and should look like. I had buried so much of my desires and passions over the years as they didn’t fit into my partners life. I had lived a life of responsibility and roles that were defined by society. I wore a mask of expectations. Playing the good wife, taking care of everything and everyone while I lost myself in the process. And then suddenly my relationship was over and I had no idea what to do next. So I went on a quest of self discovery. I refused to stay stuck in the roles and expectations that myself and others had imposed upon me. And I was determined to blow the dust of the old self I have buried long ago. I knew if I wanted the second half of my life to be more satisfying, more fulfilling, and more for me, I would need to figure out what that me wanted. And so I did.
To transform my pain in my power and build a life I was in love with, I needed to get clear. On a few things… like, who did I bury long ago? … what part of myself, my passions, my desires did I bury long ago that is. And this is what I learned.
Without clarity there can be no powerful movement. The end of your relationship can be the beginning of a journey to live YOUR unique version of life … not the version that someone else or society has for you. Real transformation is sustainable when you get clarity on your real “why behind your why”. What is the ultimate feeling you’re striving for every day of your life… that’s your real why. What is that vision that will make you look back on your life years from now with a proud smile and a sense of “wow, I did it right. I did it for me. I transformed my life out of this pain – it didn’t go to waste”.
To begin to explore:
- Make a list of your values. To help you determine what those are, consider what you value in other people, the words you use to describe a person and a lifestyle that is meaningful to you.
- Uncover your interests (hobbies, passions). To determine those, ask yourself what you are curious about, what do you pay attention to, what concerns you, what did you love to do as a kid, what type of movies or books are you drawn to, what do you like to talk and think about.
- Determine what people and activities give you energy and what drains your energy. Do you feel energized being with a crowd of people or energized after alone time? What activities drain you? What makes you feel full of life?
- Determine your strengths. Make a list of the things you’ve accomplished and the strengths that you know helped you get there. What do others tell you you’re good at? What comes easy for you?
- What is meaningful to you. Ask yourself, what events in your life has held a lot of meaning for me? What goals did I go after that were important? What are you proud of?
When you truly know yourself again, you are able to get clarity on the steps to take to feel better, to stir your soul, and to pick the right partner the next time around if you so choose. The universe can’t deliver for you what you don’t know you need. How will you ever get what serves you if you don’t know what that is?
NOW is the perfect time to begin rediscovering yourself again.
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"Learn my 7 Powerful Secrets to a
Happier You After Divorce"
What if divorce could be your journey of healing to become happier than ever?