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EPISODE # 2

Your Peace is a 4 Letter Word!

Listen in as I share the powerful programming process that’s changing divorced women’s live all over the world. This is the key to a happier, courageous, peaceful you after divorce.

In today’s episode I'm sharing with you a brain training process that completely changed my life and has since helped hundreds of divorced women release feelings of regret, guilt, anger, loneliness, failure and so much more after divorce.

I’ll be sharing with you the things that we spend a lot of time and energy on that just don’t help us to permanently feel happier and more at peace after divorce.

And I’ll be diving deep into how to rewire your brain to release the pain of divorce and instead become a happier, more peaceful version of you.

BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU’LL DISCOVER: 

  • What’s really running the show is the subconscious part of your brain that has been hardwired over a lifetime. The key is to release these painful thoughts and reprogram your mind with beliefs that will work for you instead of against you.
  • The 4 step process to release painful thoughts about yourself, your ex, and your life after divorce. 
  • How to release fear about the future, go after what you want in the next chapter after divorce, and most importantly return to self love.

If you have any questions or want to do this work with me on a much much deeper level check out the work with me page here on this website.

When you finish listening, I’d love to hear your biggest takeaway from today’s episode. Take a screenshot of you listening on your device, share it to your Instagram stories and tag me, @dianah_johnson

While you’re there, make sure you follow me on Instagram so you can see behind the scenes of how I help divorced women return to self love, rebuild their independent identity, and experience greater peace of mind after divorce. 

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

I am so excited for today because I’m going to be sharing with you a brain training process that completely changed my life and has since changed the lives of hundreds of divorced women that I have worked with.

The acronym for this four-step reprogramming process is called L.O.V.E. and I’ll explain why a little later.  It’s key to releasing thoughts that  are creating  painful emotions in you… Anything from anger, sadness, regret, guilt. Basically any thought that creates pain and robs you of your peace of mind. 

It’s based on the science of the brain that’s proven that all you need is to show your brain a new path to take and it will release the painful thought.

This process, works easily and quickly. I have clients tell me  it feels like magic. That’s when you do it consistently on paper. It is brain training at its best. So very simple… Now it’s not always easy to follow through with in our busy lives but it’s so so worth it. This could be the one thing that changes everything for you as it did for me so stay tuned.

Before I share the tool with you, let me share a little bit about how this even came to be…

I had been chasing answers to my anxiety and sadness in self help books most of my life. …and then the sudden nature of the end of my marriage triggered every childhood wound I had.  Which found me truly at Rock Bottom in my life.   Anyone that knows me knows that I am not the type to give in… Even when I am like I said, at rock bottom.  So I went on a mission… I didn’t want to just feel better, I wanted to  find an answer to my anxiety and sadness that had followed me for my entire life.

I invested hundreds of hours reading, listening, and practicing every tool that people gave me. 

But nothing feel seemed to stick.

Until a very serendipitous moment in my life where I was on the floor crying and asked for a sign I would be ok.  I asked to see a elephant.  It was just something random that I picked.  Long story short, two days later I was on a walk  with my cousin after lunch. And we took this random alleyway that I had never taken before. And when we got to the end, on the pavement was a pathway of colored elephant painting leading into a store. When I walked in the store only did I see this beautiful elephant, but next to it was a sign that said with your thoughts you make the world. 

Then that weekend my sister gave me a book about the power of the mind. And here’s the magic, she gave me a bookmark with the exact saying “with your thoughts you make the world.  I thought wow I am getting a message. 

That started me on a journey to finally realize that *I* was the one maintaining my pain with my thoughts.  Luckly, I realized quickly that this also meant I was the one that could fix it. Things then started to change in the most incredible ways.

I read every book I could find on the brain and the subconscious mind. And even though this was before my formal training in NLP, hypnosis, and Subconscious Reprogramming, I knew from what I had learned about the brain,  that telling myself not to listen to my painful thoughts just would not work.

With what I realized,  I created a way to get out of the Anxiety and sadness I had carried for years.  And the pain after  my marriage ended. After creating and practicing the 4 step process I will share with you,  I was able to feel better in a matter of months not years. And honestly I’ve never been more at peace. I have since coached hundreds of women using this process… With Incredible results for them as well. And now I’m sharing it with you.

The most critical piece of the Love process is that it helps you rewire your brain to release any belief that keeps you stuck. And any beliefs that keep you hurting and robs you of your peace of mind.

So many of us when we are unhappy blame our life and other people for that unhappiness.  Yes perhaps it was the initial behavior of others and the events that unfold that cause the pain.  But we stay in pain because of our programming that say none of this should be happening when it is.

These painful thoughts in your subconscious are a barrier to being happier and at peace. Most of these beliefs were programmed into you by other people and life events since you were a child. 

And this programming drives 90-95%% of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. 

So the 5% – 10% thoughts that you’re conscious of- those are the ones that say I want to be happy, I’m determined to be happy. This is only 5% of your brain that is controlling your emotions, reactions and behaviors.  It’s the Willpower method of trying to be happy and at peace.  It doesn’t work long term.

Maybe you can relate to this.  If you are like most divorced women that come to me, you know, you deserve to be happy, loved and free from anxiety.  But you just can’t seem to hold on to all of those things that you know you deserve… Like feeling amazing in your own skin, being fearless, and having lasting peace of mind.

Most women I work with, put so much energy in to reading books on divorce, following the advice of loved ones, and even doing talk therapy. But the things they do simply don’t seem to stick. And that’s exactly what I did. I spent my life on a roller coaster of anxiety and sadness and spent endless time looking for answers outside of me. And this was my greatest realization… That I am sharing with you…

What’s really running the show is the subconscious part of your brain that has been hardwired over a lifetime. The key is to release this programming and reprogram your mind with beliefs that will work for you instead of against you.

We are in control of our happiness.  It is our beliefs that creates unhappiness.  Our mind keeps us stuck.  Our mind keeps us repeating the same patterns. With the same thoughts, we trigger the same stuck emotions, and as a result take the same actions.  Thereby, staying stuck in the same cycle of unhappiness.

 

We don’t have to wait for other people and circumstances to change to be more at peace. We can’t change others and we can’t control everything that happens in life but we can always change our thoughts about it.  It’s such freedom to know that nothing outside of you can rob peace when you have power over your own thoughts.

So the LOVE process is a simple way to consistently release the thoughts that impact your peace and happiness.

Okay if you’re on a walk  or driving you can’t do this right now,  but I would love for you to come back to this if you can’t do it right now and grab a piece of paper and a pen.  Doing this work on paper is critical because it engages a different part of your subconscious mind. And that’s what we want to work with.  

L.O.V.E.

Step 1  L

LISTEN to your thoughts.

What is one thought that is causing me pain?

Step 2  O

OPEN to the opposite possibility.

What is the opposite of this thought?

STEP 3 V

VALIDATE with examples.

What are 3 examples of how the opposite could also be true? (or even just as possible or true in some circumstances)

STEP 4 E 

EXPERIENCE the release.

How does it feel to believe the opposite and let go of the painful thought?

In step four you actually feel what it feels like to believe the evidence of the new, less painful thought. 

With each painful belief you release, you feel better and better.  

So here’s how the love process works in the brain…

If you’ve been repeating thoughts to yourself over and over like I’m not good enough or I’m a failure or I should have known better … Those repeated thoughts created a path in your brain.  so if you walk the same path every day through a garden, eventually  the grass in the garden would be worn down.  You created a path in the garden by repeatedly walking over it.   So the same thing happens in your brain.  As you repeat thoughts over and over neural pathways are created in your brain.

And here is the key … you can release your painful thoughts by showing your brain a new path to take.  And here is the easiest part, this new path is created by showing your mind proof that the opposite could also be true. It’s really that easy.  The more you practice this on paper, the more freedom you feel from your painful thoughts. 

You don’t need to delve deep into your past, you don’t need to spend years in talk therapy.  You just need to get really good at hearing the thoughts you are thinking now, that’s causing you any kind of pain.

Okay I’m going to tell you an example.  We are going to talk about this in other episodes and we’ll have an opportunity to practice.  I’ll give you alot of example along the way.  I wanted to show you this tool up front in episode 2 because my mission is to get this out to anyone who needs it. Frankly I haven’t met a soul who hasn’t suffered from painful thoughts that they want to get rid off. Every single one of us is a programmed being. And painful thoughts are habits in our minds and we need to break the habits to be at peace.

Ok so, here’s a quick example got.

I have a thought… I will be alone forever. So that is the L in LOVE>  Listen to your thought that cause you pain… I will be alone forever.

O in LOVE is opposite.  What is the direct opposite of that thought….. I will not be alone forever..

V in LOVE is to validate the opposite with proof… What are three examples of how it’s just as possible that I won’t be alone forever… 1. Well let’s see there’s lots of people in the world out there that are also looking for a partner and there’s someone for everyone… 2. I have lots of friends at my age who have found someone new after divorce… And 3. frankly I’m a good catch so why should I believe I’ll be alone forever. Now those are my example you could have many different ones.

And then E in LOVE is experience what it feels like to believe the opposite.  How do you feel when you think it is just as possible that I’m not going to be alone forever.

 This is one easy simple example. I work this process with my clients to accept divorce, release anger, guilt, regret, and heal from infidelity. And to help those release fear about the future, go after what they want in chpater 2 and most importantly return to self love.

So let me just summarize what I talked about today …

Painful automatic thoughts are a barrier to being the happiest most peaceful version of you.  To move forward, be happier, at peace any of it – you have to release the programming that gets in the way.

For now, I’d love for you to start practicing observing your thoughts and poking holes in the painful ones.  Look for evidence of the opposite.  The more you do this on paper, the more your life will change and the more you will return to you before the programming. 

Future episodes will have lots of opportunities to dive in to many areas that you may relate to . I’m just so excited to get this to you now because I know what’s possible for you.

If you have any questions or want to do this work with me on a much much deeper level you can find me at www.dianahjohnsoncoaching.com /work with me

This is my reason for being so I would be honored to hear from you.

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